do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
