cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
