i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
MIDGETS
????
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
