It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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