do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
