It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
