You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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