Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
