so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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