if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want to make a zoo with you.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
