I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dick very happy bro
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
