ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
