At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
