I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
His nipple licking is glorious
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