What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
