She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
try to milk me bitch
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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