dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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