no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just found puke in my bra..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
