shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
