Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
