Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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