This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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