Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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