We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize