am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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