just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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