i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
