talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
