I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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