Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
