and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
