Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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