Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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