no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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