It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
