It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
