The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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