he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
