you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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