there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
