look no pants
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
