We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
