i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
