sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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