just tell him i said nine months
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
