Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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