So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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