Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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