after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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