I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
