I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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