YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
