Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
