yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
