I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish i was in the wii world.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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