The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
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