Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
