I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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