so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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